4 Simple Steps You Can Take to Be More Assertive in Your Life – and at Work
If you have an anxious disposition, chances are that you find it difficult to say what’s on your mind and just let other people have their way even if you don’t like it. However, there will come a time when you need to assert yourself and stand by what you believe, and being assertive as a person will definitely help.
Being assertive is different from being aggressive. It allows you to communicate your thoughts honestly and stand your ground, and even give you more confidence and less stress.
Here are the steps that you need to be more assertive in the future:
1. Know what you want. Most of the time, people who find it difficult to stand up for themselves don’t know what they want, and the antidote to that is by having a clear vision of it in your head.
Once you know what exactly you want, even if it’s still just in your head, it becomes more tangible and you can take the needed steps to go after it.
2. Change your mindset. One good way to start being anxious quickly is by being too self-conscious. Instead of focusing on yourself, give your full attention to the situation or on what the other person is saying.
This is because when you focus more on the other person, you take in more of what they’re saying, which lets you respond much better.
3. Find ways to be more assertive without sounding aggressive or rude. Standing your ground doesn’t mean that you have to be disrespectful or rude, and it certainly doesn’t mean that you need to have a short fuse to be assertive.
When you frame your words the right way, your honest thoughts and opinions may even be more valuable to people.
It also helps that you don’t fumble your words by speaking too quickly. If you find yourself in a situation where you’re a little anxious, take a deep breath, and speak more slowly.
4. Learn to say “no”. Saying the word is the best way for you to start getting comfortable with it. Even with extremely persistent people, just repeating “no” will eventually get your message across.
You can start by saying no to situations where you would otherwise be compelled to say yes, such as a night out with friends or co-workers when you really want to stay in.
If there are times that a lack of assertiveness has held you back, even doing something simple as writing down the pros and cons of asserting yourself can give you enough reason to do so. But most importantly, being assertive can save you – and everyone involved – time.